Hanukkah for Dummies

Hey everyone, we have reached the halfway point and the Hanukkah celebration. In my self-appointed role as Honorary Jew I believe it’s important to discuss Hanukkah and what I have observed so far.
First, Anne and Don, it’s really great you were able to celebrate Hanukkah during Hanukkah this year. Jessup, you really exhibited tolerance and generosity by helping your wife put up the Christmas tree on the first day of Hanukkah. Ryland, thank you for continually requesting that I participate more fully in the Hanukkah celebration and enjoy the act of giving at least eight times.
Also, in the role of honorary Jew, I thought it was important that I learn more about Hanukkah itself. Therefore, after thorough research consulting a great Talmudic scholar (Siri) I am well versed in the celebration. I know that the word Hanukkah means dedication or rededication. I know that this festival is a celebration of victory over oppression (If Jews had a holiday for every victory they’ve had in the struggle against oppression, it would be a year-long fest, not just eight days.) I know that one tradition in which I intend to follow is that of eating oil based foods like latkes and DONUTS!!! The celebration is also called the Festival of Lights (it’s a candle thing). I also learned why it lasts eight days (it’s a candle miracle thing).
But this is what I really learned. My Jewish family has welcomed us with open arms. They really practice tolerance, openness, generosity and absolute love of family.
I’m really getting into this. I may even keep this up after Hanukkah. I may even want to go to a Chinese restaurant again on Christmas Day.

Shalom,
Jim the Honorary Jew

Why I am Jim the Honorary Jew

Happy Hanukkah to all my Jewish friends and family. I have decided that I am an honorary Jew because I have two Jewish sons’-in- law and three half-Jewish grandsons. As an honorary Jew I will now observe Jewish holidays, too. By observe, I mean watch (sorry Ryland, you would break me if I had to buy eight more gifts for you, your brother , and your cousin). Anymore watching than is beyond me. You have to speak in a language that takes your total upper respiratory system and must also read from a text filled with an alphabet that looks like a giant mathematical formula. So Happy Hanukkah everyone. I’ll be watching.